Tues. update

Just a quick update. Today was radiation #2 and rabbit hormone therapy #2. The rabbit one is still going on but so far is not as bad as they said it would be. Judy York came be for a visit and got dressed up special to come and visit. I have been sleeping most of the day; ... a reaction to the drug I would suppose. Well hope all you family is well and enjoying each other.

I have completed my first radiation treatment..other than the hard table everything went fine. The only problem so far has been my blood sugars are through the roof because of the predisone and othe meds. they are giving me. Also they dont have my concentrated insulin so it makes things a little more complicated But the bed is sure nice here! It is an kind of air bed that blows up around you and is very very soft and comfortable.
Well it is time to start my ATG which is stuff from a rabbit. Will add more later.

Sat. a day of reflection

Sat. is normally resting from the week and preparing for the next week. Today is no different except with a little more discomfort from the last day or so. I am always amazed at what has happened when I look back on a week. Most of the time I feel like nothing is getting done while the week is happening and then looking back makes be feel like lots has been accomplished. This must have something to do with "perspective". The same holds true of raising children...while in the midst I am not sure things will work out but then a chance to look back and see the growth and wow... change has been made. I think we often need these chances to look back to enable us to want to go on. We are such tangible humans...we need to see that we are needed and making a difference to someone.
I am glad that God is so secure in the fact of us needing him and that he has sacrificed himself to make a difference in our lives that he never wavers of frets about his love and impact on our lives. He is the tree planted by the water who does not waver in the wind and he can give us the same strength when we ask. OK God, I want to be a huge old oak tree that provides shade and comfort, a place of shelter, limbs to climb on and have fun in for both my family and friends. I know that together we can and will do this...Thanks

Pictures of my new digs

Here are some pictures of my home away from home. It is a studio but very nice. It has lots of extra floor space and gets good light. There is a small patio outside the door.
Julie and I completed lots of appointments today and a class as well. Tomorrow recheck in radiation and then a central line catheter put in. Sat. is a day free from doctors and then Sun. it is to the hospital for a week.

Thanks

Today is labs, Xrays, then paperwork, a Dr.'s visit and a catheter class at Stanford. Starts at 8:30 and ends at 5:00. Pretty busy day. Lots of sitting and wait as well. That is how it always seems to be...hurry, sit and wait, hurry etc...
That seems to be life as well...hurry (try to get lots done quickly) and then sit and wait (we have to learn to let others take their time to get something done, we learn we can't control time and results) then hurry again when results come in (once again trying to control what is happening in our lives). I am learning more patience than I ever thought possible. Also, to trust God more with even the little things such as timing. It doesn't benefit me or others around me if I lose control, get depressed, or react to what is going on the wrong way. Don't worry * I still have emotions about what is happening but learning to not let them take control is a daily lesson I am dealing with. It is great that I truly believe that God is in control, not necessarily responsible for what I am going through, but has promised to be with me through what life brings.
It is also great that God has given me a big family whose support and love I could not live without. A great group of friends as well. So I want to thank all of you who have helped me through the last 5 years of cancer and who are helping me and my family now through the next 4 months as well.
I was reminded yesterday that although I am the one who has cancer - the whole family also suffers from cancer as well. So please pray for Larry and my kids (both big and small). This will be a great learning time for them that God and our love for each other can get us through this and keep us together.
Thanks
Lisa

One long night

Tonight has been long and somewhat hard. Not for me to much but for Georgia. Her second litter was born...Birth order Black female, Cow looking female, White/Tan female, Black with 4 white paws and white tip tail female, solid black twin girls (they shared a sac and were born on top of each other)and last but not least a black and white male. A total of 7 puppies. First puppy born at 10:05pm and the last one was born 4:45 am. At least we think it is the last...she keeps surprising us.

The calm before the storm

It is Tues. night and all quiet and calm. I am moved into my new space and now have the internet. Today has been a day of rest. Julie is on her way here now after she got off work. She will stay with me for the rest of the week taking me to lots of out patient appointments and then will check me into the hospital on Sun. to begin radiation and treatment. It is amazing how little we can live with. Sparse is nice especially for those who will have to take care of it. Dinner time is upon us and we are having hamburgers...yum. I am told that my food likings and ability to swallow will change. There is a massive diet for me to follow...I have never been to good at this but Julie and Rebecca will help me stay true. Besides who wants to have more problems from not following instructions. I hope to get some crafts finished and some Christmas presents made...lots of sit around time during the next 4 months. Got to go eat...

Time is ticking away

Tues. was spent at Stanford talking to a Social worker, then a class on what to expect during the treatment times at Stanford. Lots of information- most of which was already written in the book but no harm in rehashing it. Then home to a delicious dinner made by David and Jonathan and wonderful company with my older kids. Chicken, garlic mashed potatoes, and asparagus. These are a few of my favorite things.....la,la, la,
Wed. I ran some errands with David...or should I say I rode with David while he ran a few of my errands.
Thurs. was a day of rest. I was tired from Tues, and Wed. Made lots of phone calls trying to arrange things for the future.
Today which is Fri. will be spent at Stanford again. In the Radiology/Oncology dept. getting X-rayed and measured for blocks and stuff for all the radiation I must receive during the treatment. Two full weeks of radiation, some days with 3 treatments...doesn't really sound like fun but.... Then Larry and I will go and see the apartment that I will be living in for the next few months and make a plan of what all I will need there to be comfortable. Then home.
Sat. should be full of packing and planning. The kids will be at fair selling their animals.
Sunday is move Day! Larry and Anna will help me move or I will watch them move me. Then they will spend the night with me in the new place and thus begins a busy week of appointments and test and adventure. Julie will come Tues. night and take over caregiver job for the rest of the week and weekend till I enter the hospital on the 26th.
Need to get together entertainment, audio books, movies, good music etc for the weeks ahead. After all this time I am getting a mixture of excited and nervous to get the program started so it will end... I am just relieved and resting in the Lord that he has a good plan for me and that he will not give me more than I can handle. He has given me a future and a hope! This is quite literal for me after 5 years of no hope for a cure. God is soooo very good.

Labor Day

All Dr.s appointments and test completed! It is great to look forward to a week with no appointments. Time to relax and help kids get ready for fair. Just one week till the animals go in. Then our home will be goat free. It will feel weird but nice at the same time.
We will however have puppies...
So for labor day...Larry and kids have labored checking off the to do list. Anna and I and Grandmom have been cooking up a storm for a family get together. I really love it when every one comes together for how ever long it goes.
So tonight, we have 3 kinds of sausage, hot dogs, ribs, baked potaotes with all the fixings, chinese chicken salad, baked beans, deviled eggs, apple cake and choc. mint cake.
My job is now to eat and enjoy....Hope your day is great.

Blog's reminds me of God's faithfulness

It has been fun rereading some of the old post on here. The one theme that keeps coming to mind though is God's faithfulness throughout life. My life to be specific. Reading them brings back to mind all the blessing he has given us over the years, and the great people and fiends in our lives. It tells of the things he has brought us through and how he has provided for the needs in our lives both great and small. Maybe the blogging time was well worth it...It has so helped to get a God view of what is going on in my life instead of a confused, self absorbed one that this time can bring.

What is a BMT???

When we went to Stanford to start the process of the possibility of a Bone Marrow Transplant *BMT from now on...they talked to us for a couple of hours. Explained some of the process, then handed us a binder that is about 2 inches thick with information to go home and read through. I should have known from that alone the BMT was more complicated than I thought. At that visit they sent me to the lab to draw some blood - 16 and I mean reg. vials of blood were drawn for every possible test and to find a match.
The main reason for the BMT is because the medicine to control the cancer has built up in my body and become toxic to me. It makes me nonfunctional and very sick. We have changed the meds, reduced the meds., and still I can not handle what they do to me. The only possibility of a cure is the BMT. So we push forward and the Lord has paved the way for many things to happen. First, he not only provided me with a match for a donor but 4 matches...this is more than unusual. He has made sure that insurance covers most of the cost...there will be a large out of pocket expense but most is covered. Next, he has provided me with a supportive family and grown children who are willing to chip in to make this happen over the next 4-6 months. Also, I am suppose to be able to come home around Jan. 19th...my birthday is the 20th and to celebrate by coming home cancer free seems to be a dream come true.
The process is long with periods of pain and discomfort, but it is not all bad. Starting the 24th some of the pain begins, then a hospital stay for 6 days begins on the 26th, then one week out patient radiation daily treatments continue with Oct. 8th the actual BMT and a new me is born...Oct. 7th is Larry's b'day...God has great timing huh?! This will be followed by at least 100 days of trying to get the donor immune system up and working inside me, finishing off the cancer and making me stronger. These days will be filled with lab test, dr.s visits, and lots of waiting on the Lord. During those 100 days I am susceptible to any little disease so am not allowed to go out, have visitors, see the kids (little and big germ bombs).. This gives you a little idea of the days that lie ahead for us. Let's just say Larry is not use to being on his own with out me, nor I him. They say absence makes the heart grow fonder....we shall see

Marathon Dr. Visits...How many can you do in a week?

You will notice that there are three post for the same date...started out on VOX but they are closing down and I changed back to the really old blog that I used to do. Sorry about the change.
Today I had a Dr. appointment at 1:40 and before 2:00 I had another one.....By the time I was home there were two more waiting for me. So as follows Thurs. 8:00 Trans-thoracic complete echo, 1:00 Resp.diagnostic monitoring with pulmonary function test. Fri. morning 8:00 am a Bone Marrow aspiration and biopsy with cytogenetics. Followed by blood test, chest Xrays....and of course I am suppose to be sure and get rest in between. So I think I will be more than ready to go to Stanford and get some rest. Next week looks more peacful and quiet but, then again we haven't gotten to next week....I guess busy is better than bored.
I really thank God we have insurance...It is amazing how much they cover and will continue to cover during the rest of this process. Not sure how the new "government" plan would do but at least it will be done before I will have to find out.

New Beginning,New End, then to begin again

Well, Sept. 1st has come and this is the time that my life is centered around a new beginning and the hope of a great end, followed by another beginning. We are days away from a bone marrow transplant that will last for at least 4 months of treatment. Followed by the end of cancer and the beginning of a new life without cancer. Between the 1st and the 26th of this month there will be test, followed by more test, and appointments with various Dr.'s and people to get everything all set and ready for the green light.
As a family we have many things that we need to arrange to try and make this whole process go smoothly. Care givers, cars, apartments, food, appointments, classes to learn about the whole process, insurance information, schedules, schooling, fair (the end to our goats), keeping me away from sick people and germs, and the list goes on. Please pray that both Larry and I do not get to stressed out with all that needs to be done - he is really feeling the weight of responsibility - while I sometimes feel sad that I can not do more to be his help mate and take some burdens from him.
The whole process that I must go through to get ready for the transplant and the recovery from the transplant are very complicated and hard to explain. My plan is to keep this blog updated when I can about the process and in that way relieve Larry from having to rehash all that is going on.
We have located an apartment for myself and a care giver in Sunnyvale closer to Stanford. I must remain close to Stanford and the doctors there for about 4 months. Since my immune system will be down, I am not allowed to go out, have visitors, see the kids...meaning a long separation from Larry and the family. This will be hard for all of us.
We all know and feel that the Lord is leading us to do this and that he will provide for our needs (both physical and emotional) through this time. He has proven faithful to us throughout the years and will remain a rock and shelter for us during this unsettling time in our lives.